So a couple weeks ago a tenant at one of the apartment complexes I’m working at came into our office extremely upset. She was yelling and shouting at us and we were like, “Whoa, there. What’s wrong?”

She was red and practically steaming as she accused us of setting motion sensors and cameras in her unit, yelling that she knows! She knows we’re monitoring her movements and she demands that we stop immediately! Oh, we thought she didn’t know, but SHE KNOWS!

She yells at us saying that she can hear the beep every time she walks through the door to her apartment. She’s not stupid, she says. She knows everything we’re up to and we’d better cut it out before she calls the cops on us. Also, she is not a prostitute!

I’m just sitting there staring at her, shaking my head, and my coworkers are at a loss for words. We decide we’re going to go up there and see what the hell she’s talking about. So, we get there and we hear the beep every couple seconds. We track down the sound to the fire detector in the unit next to this crazy lady’s unit and find that it’s out of batteries, which was why it was beeping.

Then, we try to explain to her that no one was monitoring her and that her apartment isn’t bugged. But of course, she ignores everything we say and is still angry that we were watching her. She keeps shouting nonsensical things like about how she’s not a prostitute. She keeps going on about the prostitute thing!

OK! You’re not a prostitute! No one asked and no one cares!